Maybe I should start by recording my starting weight. Today I was 235 lbs.
Breakfast: high fiber granola cereal with fat free milk
snack: avocado on a whole wheat tortilla
lunch: salad of- romaine lettuce, baby spinach, tomato, shredded carrot, red onions, cucumbers with an Asian sesame dressing.
snack: banana and a handful of low fat no buttered popcorn
dinner: steamed chicken breast with a drizzle of teriyaki sauce, steamed veggies, water to drink.
could not work out today because I am writing a ten page essay due tomorrow and I am FREAKING OUT. haha but tomorrow I have my biweekly 2 hour gym session.
Last year I was able to HEALTHILY lose 20 lbs in a month through dedicated exercise and healthy eating. This year I plan to do the same. My goal is to lose 20lbs by New Years. So I will be tracking my plan every day on tumblr, just as a personal motivator. There may be some not-so-healthy habits on here that are hard for me to break. But overall, this is just a small challenge for myself. It is not a lifestyle.
To prep for my 20 Pound Challenge, today I have been cleansing with a diet of spinach, bananas, and water.
Without Tumblr and the motivation it gives me, I feel like a part of me is missing! I haven’t been on recently because I sold my smartphone. So now I have a very old outdated phone that won’t browse online. Lame! But I have set up my new computer and I feel a little better. I just miss being able to see the constant fitspo through my phone 24/7. UGH! i love this place.
So my boyfriend of 3.5 rocky years broke up with me two days ago. This boy…. I really thought was the one for me. And he made me believe i was the one for him. But why am i going to hold myself down for someone who truly doesnt want me? I look at my friends in their happy relationships and i think to myself, “i deserve that too.” although i am heart broken, i am liberated. Although i am humiliated, i hold my head high. Because i know that i am a wonderful girl. I am extremely smart and kind and adorable, and pretty. So…. If he doesnt want that, im pretty sure someone else will.
WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your fucking business. Meaning my size, IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
If my big belly and fat arms and stretch marks and thick thighs offend you, then that’s okay. I’m not going to hide my body and my being to benefit your delicate sensitivities.
This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.
This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.
This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds
This picture is for all the fucking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)
This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.
This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me “lard”. She made me feel like I didn’t deserve to exist. Just because I happened to be bigger than her. I was 12. And she continued to bully me via social media into high school.
MOST OF ALL, this picture is for me. For the girl who hated her body so much she took extreme measures to try to change it. Who cried for hours over the fact she would never be thin. Who was teased and tormented and hurt just for being who she was.
I’m so over that.
THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT.
and FUCK YOU ALL who tried to degrade my being and sense of self with your hurtful comments and actions.
GUESS WHAT IT DIDN’T WORK HAHAHAHAH
She is beautiful no matter what anyone says!
i love you wow
You are so beautiful ok. Fuck the haters bby. c:
If i wasnt straight, i would marry you, you gorgeous gorgeous female.
It went great last night. I had no clue i could run for an hour. I know it doesnt seem like much but it was so exhilarating! I plan to run every other night and strength train in between. Fun fun :)